Howard meets Cheney

Hi Mr Vice-President
Oh heck Harry, call me dick
No I'm John
Shit the Bell boy got it wrong, sorry John.
How was the flight, Dick?
Wonderful, you know I got to see "The Sound of Music" again.
Oh, good.
You know I never tire of it. I play it in my office all the time - but in my office of course I have surround sound.
I see. Your hotel is comfortable?
Oh Harry, the view is divine, I wanted to see the Opera Building, but MI6 said it was a no go.
MI6? Yeah they have already cased the joint, so we take their word for it.
Saves money I guess.
Yes . But we usually check safety with Mosad as well, and they aren't cheap.
Oh I see..
Not that we don't have our own secret service all over the place. Like I found out that my bell boy was secret service.
Really?
Yeah he carries three guns. One under each arm, and one in his crotch.
Oh.
Yeah he has a real neat holster in his crotch, it hooks onto his balls.
Hmff
Makes me feel so safe to know he is around.
Dick, I wanted to talk to you about Iraq.
Well I can't say when the pullout will be, but George will keep you posted.
The pullout?
Yeah well you see Harry, the war is a lost cause. Tribal civil wars aren't really our forte, as I'm sure you will agree.
Well the war against terror...
Is a furphy, global warming is a more pressing matter. That's where the votes are.
Kevin understands that. Your handful of troops is neither here nor there in the big picture of things. You know I just got a digitally remastered copy of "The Sound of Music". It's absolutely sensational. Mateo agrees with me.
Mateo?
My bell boy, or rather my personal bodyguard. He speaks five language fluently. But not Mandarin. Speaking of which it's just about time for our bath.
Gasp
I brought you a little something, a memento of this meeting. It looks like a biro, but its actually a miniature MP3 player. I've preloaded it with "The sound of Music". It's also a Satellite tracking system, and if you put it on the ground and whistle at it, it jumps around. Really amuses cats.
Well thank you Dick.
No worries Harry. See you at the White House sometime. Bye.
Bye.


Hello Jeanette? I can't tell you - my God what a fruitcake.